Why am I pissing blood?

So I've determined that my health insurance policy exists for the sole purpose of creating some feeble sense of security that lasts only until the first instance of my actually needing medical attention. Upon which I realize that my health insurance policy amounts to nothing more than a flimsy card that I keep in my wallet until all the type rubs off.

I love paying thousands of dollars for the express privilege of being tossed around in a bureaucratic nightmare of useless phone calls and red tape.

God bless America...

--Bell
"PIE! I want PIE!"